To Be a Muslim

Salams,
So I've been thinking. What's wrong with Muslims? It's a thought that preoccupies my mind these days.
1) It seems that most Muslims wants to be with you in good times and not in bad times. For example, a couple getting a divorce. Everybody would love to help out if you want to patch things up, but the moment you say you don't want to patch things up and you want a divorce, no one will help you. They'll run as fast as they can. Sorry, but in my book that is not being a Muslim. Now you can get into semantics and say, well they are Muslims and not Mu'mins, it doesn't matter. The shahadah should keep you in line enough to stand for haqq and stand against batil, and if it doesn't then you need to check your faith.
2) If you find that you are someone that belongs in category number 1, well then you need some help. Your soul needs help. You need to look into your nafs and realize that you not wanting to help someone in a bad, terrible situation, well that says more about you than it says about anyone else. You probably have huge insecurities. You are lying to yourself about Iman then, that's a problem. That's a problem between you and your Creator, and with the rest of humanity as well. You will struggle your whole life. Find the truth now then. I'll be honest with you, it's a difficult process, you will struggle, and uncover some ugly demons in your closet. But it needs to be done if you feel you want any kind of positive connection with your Creator, your nafs, your family, your community, and the Muslim ummah at large.
3) Muslims love to black and white things. Do you think Allah is black and white? Not literally, of course, but Islam is not black and white. Yes I agree the big things are well big, like shirk, adultery, riba, etc. But other things it's not so clear. I used to be a big black and whiter. I wanted to dictate to everyone about what they shouldn't be doing and what they should be doing. I've changed (or I hope I have - if not for me, for others). I wanted to impose my ideas on others. That was about myself and no higher cause. My own insecurities took me there, I wanted to black and white it so I wouldn't question anything, there is some kind of power in it too, so you dont want to show anyone you are powerless. Once I realized it was about myself and not others, I let it go. And my closet liberal came out. By closet liberal I dont mean that I started to wear skimpy clothes and taking all of what I know about what is right and wrong in Islam and tabling it, but rather the stuff that is not cut in stone, well I realized it is not cut in stone. I realize now I can't condemn someone to hell for say drinking with their left hand. (I dont think I ever did that, but my salafi younger sister sure did, many a time!lol)
4) You can't say a kind word, or even smile at someone. I've noticed that Muslims have a very hard time with this. They rather just brood and stick in their groups or posses rather than going out of their way to smile or say salam to someone outside of their group. Or to say hi to non-Muslims, or to play with children. We just want to sit around in our intense discussions, our intense relationships we have forged with each other, and ignore the rest all around us. Marvelous. Marvelously wrong.
5) Stand up for truth no matter the consequences. Everyone is afraid of consequences. Everyone is afraid of being hated. No one wants to be the bad guy. Remember, Islam came to erase all that?! If you really believe that, then next time you see the truth blaring out at you and you see some kind of dhulm being done on someone, then jump at the opportunity to stand for the truth. You won't get that chance everyday and some people only get it a few times in their lifetime. It's a test from Allah. But unfortunately most Muslims fail miserably, and not only do they fail themselves, well the dhulm of not standing up for truth, other people go down with them too. Like my friend says, DOJ man, no not department of justice, but day of Judgment. Everyone will get what they deserve.

Rabea