Umm Salamah cont.

Salams,
so lessons from Umm Salamah's life
1. Have sabr, put your trust in Allah, and Allah will provide for you and plan what is best for you.
2. Umm salamah remembered the prayer her husband had quoted on his deathbed from the Prophet and began repeating it, "O Lord, with you I leave this my plight for consideration..." But she could not bring herself to continue..."O Lord give me something better from it", because she kept asking herself, "Who could be better than Abu Salamah?" But she eventually completed the supplication. Always continue to make dua to Allah even if you do not know where/what your khair will be.
3. Umm Salamah was in Madinah at the time of her husband's death. She had no family of her own there. She said about herself, "I am a stranger in a strange place." The Prophet (saw) advised her not to weep publicly. Why he (saw) asked her not to weep publicly I don't know, perhaps it was because he did not want the morale of the people to come down. I'd like to think it was because crying is something done privately, not a show for all to see, it is beneficial when it is amongst close friends or when it is between you and your Creator. I dont know if you have ever been a stranger in a strange place, but I sure have, and it isn't fun. It is something you have to deal with sabr, dua, and close friends.
4. When she had completed the iddah (three months and ten days), Abu Bakr proposed marriage to her but she refused. Then Umar asked to marry her but she also declined the proposal. The Prophet then approached her... Hmm...the best Muslims of the community proposed to her? Brothers is there a lesson here? In today's Muslim societies it seems that widows are given especially poor treatment. SubhanAllah, Umm Salama was proposed to by first the best friend of the Prophet (saw), then Umar (ra), and then the Prophet (saw) himself. Lesson - follow the sunnah of the Prophet (saw) and his (saw) companions, you will never go wrong.
5. The Prophet then approached her and she replied, "O Messenger of Allah, I have three characteristics. I am a woman who is extremely jealous and I am afraid that you will see in me something that will anger you and cause Allah to punish me. I am a woman who is already advanced in age and I am a woman who has a young family."
The Prophet replied:
"Regarding the jealousy you mentioned, I pray to Allah the Almighty to let it go away from you. Regarding the question of age you have mentioned, I am afflicted with the same problem as you. Regarding the dependent family you have mentioned, your family is my family." So ok wow, subhanaAllah, only the Messenger of Allah could be this awesome. Umm Salamah's first statement of how she is jealous and she does not want to do anything that will anger the Prophet (saw) and hence cause Allah to punish me, well wow, you have to have some taqwah to say that. It would seem that she would just jump at the chance of marrying the Prophet (saw), sort of like a ticket to heaven, but rather she realizes her shortcomings and does not want them to lead her into being punished by Allah.

She is worried she is older in age. The Prophet (saw) basically replies that he is older in age as well. In today's day and age it seems that older men want younger women. This is an example of the graciousness of the Prophet(saw), his(saw) humility. It also seems like worries of the past are the same worries of today. Women are still worried about superficial things such as their beauty, age, etc, and well it is even more so in today's society as men are becoming increasingly superficial as well in terms of who they want to marry.

So the last part about her young family and the Prophet (saw) saying, "your family is my family."

This reminds of me of a verse from the Bible, But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God."

In today's day and age, no one wants baggage, no one wants to accept someone else's children. SubhanAllah the Prophet (saw) could have said many things regarding the children, but what kinder words could he have used than saying that her family is his family. Acceptance of them as his (saw) own.

I hope insh'Allah you can benefit from the story of Umm Salamah.

-Rabea